All in Other Stuff

Nothing is certain except...

Nothing is certain except death and taxes.

Benjamin Franklin new this statement to be true. Most of us in the accounting profession are wishing for one of these things more than the other, especially this time of year (I give you one guess as to which one). That's right, ladies and germs, it's tax time once again in the United States of America. It's time to gather all your documents, prepare your annual tax returns, and hope to file everything on time to avoid getting in trouble with the big, bad IRS. With that in mind I would like to share some of my personal pet peeves about filing your taxes. Try not to fall asleep while trying to get through this blog. If we all work really hard we can get through this time of year together.

I don't think so, Tim.

My Dad, the honorable David Earl Clark, is from a generation when men were men and when things broke around the house you picked up your tool box (or tool belt) and fixed it. If the sink was leaking you pulled your pants down to allow your butt crack to show, grabbed a wrench, and fixed the leak. If you needed a new roof, you grabbed some shingles, a hammer, and some nails then replaced the roof (after hitting your thumb three or four hundred times). If your TV stopped working you grabbed a screwdriver and opened the back of the massive box as if you somehow understood how a TV work then proceeded to shock yourself 7 or 8 times before reattaching that loose wire. When things would break you would fix it.

Times have certainly changed for those of my generation.

Seat Guru

From my blog email thread: You get to plan a dinner party for 4-8 of your favorite writers/artists/musicians/other notable figures, whether dead or alive. Who do you seat next to whom in order to inspire the most fun evening?

Of course this is a common question when trying to provoke a thoughtful discussion. Usually it comes in the form of “If you could grab coffee with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?” or something along those lines. This particular idea just expands upon that notion to create a wider net. Here is my list of dinner party guests.

5 Against 1 – The Inevitable Pearl Jam Blog - The Fans

By late October 2009, Rizzo and I had been dating for over a month (or just about a month depending on which date Rizzo decides we started dating at the time of this posting). Pearl Jam was touring for their album Backspacer with the shows closest to the Washington DC area being in Philadelphia, PA. The band had four shows scheduled on October 27-31 to celebrate(?) the closing of the Spectrum Center. As with every Pearl Jam tour I wanted to make sure to get to at least one concert but was hesitant to go because (1) I didn’t want to go by myself and (2) even through Rizzo and I were really close really fast I wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to invite her out of town for the weekend after only a month of dating.

Luckily for me I found myself a good woman and Rizzo insisted she wanted to go to the show so I better hurry up and find some tickets. Finding tickets in the age of the internet for just about any show, event, or concert is a fairly routine endeavor. Finding tickets that won’t require you to sell a kidney and sacrifice your first born isn’t as easy. I found some nosebleed seats on a third party ticket selling site the only cost my right big toe and 6 pints of blood so I scooped them up. Rizzo and I were heading to Philadelphia to see Pearl Jam on Saturday, October 31, 2009; Halloween.

Road Trip

Road trips are a rite of passage for any family. It may not be the most time efficient but it is certainly the most cost efficient way for a family to get from point A to point B to spend time in another location, be it for a vacation or to spend some time with distant relatives over a holiday season. Road trips can be long and tedious but with a little planning and following some simple guidelines your road trips can be fun(ish) and accomplish your goal of making it through alive.

How to win a first date without really trying

First dates can be can be a challenging and stressful adventure but they are also a necessary evil to overcome. Nobody likes them. Everyone feels a bit of uneasiness and awkwardness during a first date. There are the rare exceptions to the rule when two people that have been friends for years decide that they want to try something more romantic. However, most of the time a first date is a terrifying prospect.

Even with all that can go wrong with a first date there are some easy steps you can take to make your first dates more comfortable and smooth. As an expert in the field (I’m not) I’m here to help you develop a first date strategy that is guaranteed to make you succeed in your dating life. Having successfully landed a mate that is, without question, far out of my league I can state that by following these simple steps you too can land the woman of your dreams. (Note: As I am a heterosexual male these steps will be written in a manner that will allow a man to have a successful first date with a woman. However, these steps can altered by simply changing the pronouns for a woman to successfully plan a first date with a man, a man to have a successful first date with a man, or a woman to have a successful first date with a woman.)

'Twas the Day Before Christmas

In December 2009, Rizzo and I had been dating for just a few months so we had not yet started the routine of splitting time with different families for the holiday. I was up in Sterling with my family while she traveled down to North Carolina to be with her family.

For some reason on Christmas eve I wanted to do something special (probably just to win approval or get in good with the family) so I wrote my own version of the classic poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' for Rizzo's younger sister, Olivia. She was 6 at the time so I thought this could be something cool to send. I emailed it out to Rizzo on Christmas Eve and she shared it with her family. I suppose the fact that we are now married with a kid means I did something right.

Now, as part of the holiday season, I'm sharing the poem with you. I don't know if anyone has anyone out there reading this has any artistic skill but I'd love to have an artist illustrate this into a book. If anyone is interested please let me know and I'd love to get that done.

I hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas.

Are you board?

I don’t remember playing an abundance of board games growing up but that isn’t to say we didn’t play our fair share as a family. There are two games in particular that I recall playing, or not playing, in our house. First, there was Trivial Pursuit. I’m sure you are all familiar with the game of pie pieces and trivia that can only be answered by Ken Jennings. I can remember it now, a cold winter evening in 1993 with everyone in the house. Carrie, my sister, is home for the winter break from college. Some snow is falling and it is dark by 3:37pm so no one has any plans to go out. “Why don’t we play a game?” someone would say, probably me. “Ok, let’s play Trivial Pursuit” someone would say, probably Dad. Then the nightmare would begin.